9/9/99

When I was a kid

Oh the silly things I did!

My time would be spent

In all that was not meant.

My heart would sigh

In hopes held high.

I would dream of my prince

Which has continued ever since

Who would come and sweep me away

And in togetherness, we would sway.

9/9/99 holds a special place in my heart

As I always wanted that to be the very start

Of a new life

In being a wife

And having a large family

As that would mean the world to me.

Immature in my thoughts

Times back then and even so now

9/9 will always hold

A special place forever so…

Equation of Life

Life is short.
Shorter are the moments of happiness.
Longer are the memories.
The equation just does not match...destiny being the catalyst of uncertainty in trying to balance the equation of life...

My U n I - Verse

A vast dreamscape...

In a secret space-

A small being,

Waiting for the embrace...

Amidst the expanse around.

What’s in this darkness bound?

Can desires, love and hope be found?

The finite exists within the infinite

Liberated, yet possessed-

One body in another,

Two minds, entwined with each other,

U n me in magical, mystical verse,

My soul lives within its UnIVerse...

The Light of My Life

Darkness was all around,

No light to be seen;

No dreams to be dreamt;

No hope to live for.

 

Then I saw a shadow,

But how could that be?

For without light,

No shadow can be seen!

 

Gradually, the light became brighter,

The shadow cast away;

Darkness was over shadowed,

As the Light of  My Life found way.

 

I Know

What happened...? 

When did it happen...? 

Why did it happen...? 

Where did it happen...? 

How did it happen...? 

 

I know not all the answers to these...

But this I do know.

That I love you - 

For who you are

For what you are,

And I miss you so...

 

My mind will always search for you

My heart will always yearn for you

My soul will always wait for you...

 

 

 

 

Love and Loyalty

Love

I was inside.

All by myself.

Too scared to venture out.

Whenever I went out alone, I got hurt.

I needed Loyalty.

 

Loyalty

I existed, but was rarely seen.

No one really cared about me.

No one believed in me.

I was not special.

There were many.

I needed Love.

 

The Bonding

We met, by chance.

Love came out seeing me.

Time passed, we became close.

Love started trusting me.

Love believed in me.

I assured Love that we would always be together.

 

 

From time immemorial,

Love and Loyalty walk hand in hand.

Loyalty found Love, Love found Loyalty.

One ceases to exist without the other.

If Loyalty walks away, Love lives alone.

 

In isolation.

In oblivion.

 

 

 

Abujh: The Un-Understanding

Who am I? I asked myself.

Do I really understand others? Do I realize what they go through or what they must be going through? Can I empathize with them? Can I feel their pain? Do I pretend to know? Can I know? Do I need to know? Do I need to understand either the understandable or the un-understandable?

No. I do not. I am Abujh – the Un-Understanding.

 

 

 

Life's Decades

I loved.

I waited…

I erred.

I expressed...

We loved.

I will wait...

 

 

 

Broken

No force.

No abuse.

No brittleness.

But so soft,

That it broke...

 

 

 

Glimpse of Hell

 

Single grey tick.

Double grey tick.

No double blue tick.

 

White circle.

Blue circle.

No profile picture in the circle.

 

Key-in the number.

Press the green ‘dial’ button.

Disconnect.

 

Last seen – today.

Active – 1 min ago.

Missed call.

 

Glaring at WhatsApp.

Staring at Facebook Messenger.

Looking at the phone.

 

In continuum.

Three months.

Eternity-like.

 

Painful.

Grieving.

Traumatic.

 

 My mind knew "Yes".

 My heart believed "Yes".

 Hope said "Yes".

 

I believed in myself.

 I trusted my Love.

 Faith was powerful.

  

The wait - long, never-ending.

Patience - tested.

Wholemates - reunited.

 

Hoping he’ll stay,

Come what may,

Till the end of my days.

 

Love is painful.

Love is beautiful.

Love is true.

 

This is Love.

Love is faith.

Faith is forever. 

 

 

The Storm

Perfect was the embrace

A carpet of lush green grass

Leaves fluttering carelessly

Wild flowers waltzing in the breeze

Nature freely adorned

Blazing and brilliant

Spirits in cheer

So beautiful

Tranquil

 

Distrait

The sky loomed dark

Unforeseen

A gale of wrath

Cried havoc

In needless divergence

Tossing in turmoil

An upheaval of the past

Conglomerated

Dumped into the present

 

Compunction prime

Winds of change

Soaring

Bursting the insanity

Emanating a heavenly halo

Sanity rebounds

The frosted blanket

Pristine

 

The sheer brilliance

Of a new dawn

Those beaming rays

Oh so mighty!

Evanesce the past

Luster the present

Pave the future

Encompass entirety

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Fisherwoman

The deep ocean,  infinite.

I search.

There are many.

A variety.

 

The waves sing.

I wait.

To the tune of the endless wait.

For the one.

 

The sun shines bright.

I see.

I reach far.

I smile.

 

Finally.

I hold close.

Happy.

At peace.

 

The sudden flash of silver.

Blinding. Blocking.

Squirming.

In Liberation.

 

The sun goes down.

The dry expanse around, bleak.

Desolated.

In Isolation.

 

I searched.

I waited.

I saw.

I held close.

I set free.

 

In Solitude.

 

No more searching.

Just waiting.

Offering.

Anticipating.

Holding close.

Keeping.

 

The Sun Will Rise Again Tomorrow.

 

Seize the Opportunity…No more Misses…

Life is full of opportunities. Some we take, some we miss. Once we miss opportunities, we realize our loss and tend to break down. The road ahead seems uncertain, unclear and hazy. We think that we have been barred from something we have always wanted. Everything seems so unreal and blown away in the dust. We feel desolated in solitude. The world looms large and empty in front of us. We feel confused and hesitate.

 

But life shows us the way. Even though we may miss some opportunities, life gives us new ones. These new ones are like a rebirth of the missed opportunities. They give us a fresh breath of life. We are brought back to our senses with the mighty revelation that we have been given another chance to seize those opportunities we missed. The new opportunities may not be exact in nature to the missed ones, but their depth remains constant.

 

There are no more misses this time. Realization has dawned upon us like the rising sun of the new dawn, with its orange-fingered rays spreading out and filling the horizon in the not-so-distant eastern sky - with rejuvenated hopes and newly blossomed aspirations, emanating the joys of reconciliation with our goal; the center source of enlightenment remaining firm with our long-desired and forever-cherished beliefs.

 

Arise, awake, and stop not till the goal is reached - Swami Vivekananda

Life is but a Dream…

Row, row, row your boat,

Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream…

What seems to be a very common English nursery rhyme to many, holds much more meaning to me. The depth and inner meaning of this rhyme has been questioning my mind for quite some time now.

 

Row, row, row your boat,

Gently down the stream.
 

What is the author trying to express in these two lines? At the first glance, it may look as if the author is merely speaking of a boat being rowed gently down the stream. On further analysis, if one looks closely, do we not see that the stream implied is not a mere stream, but the stream of Life? Your boat, meaning - Our boat – our life. Row, row, row signifying the efforts put in by us to sail ourselves through this life.

Summarizing the first two lines –

We cannot just sail through this life. We need to put in efforts to go in the right direction to steer ourselves on the path of the stream of Life. We should not be harsh or rash with our efforts, but rather, gently steer ourselves to keep ourselves on the right track.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,

Life is but a dream…

Merrily…not once, but mentioned and emphasized four times…to add a melody and a rhythm to life. The primary focus is happiness here. The author is urging us to go through life pleasantly and melodiously. Row your boat, but row it merrily; be slow and steady and know what you are doing while you sail the waters of Life. Enjoy your journey. Be happy always, come what may. Because in the end, you sail with the waters…like a dream…Life’s dream…Life being the dream itself. Today is a reality, we are a reality.

 

At the fag-end of life when we will look back, we will realize and be enlightened that it was just a dream that passed…while we are continuing on our way to the land of eternal dreams…

Yesterday was a dream. Today is a reality. Tomorrow is just another dream…

Life is but a dream…

 

 

"Surface Level"

Just by looking at the words "surface level", it makes you think that there are other levels involved. If there is a surface level, then there definitely must be something like the 'inner level' or the 'deeper level'.

What is "Surface Level"?

Surface level is the level at which operations occur only at the exterior, with no events whatsoever at an interior level. With reference to the human psychology, surface level can be thought of as feelings or emotions that 'surface at the surface' or rather, feelings that exist only at the surface. These dispassionate feelings are usually temporary or not long lasting. At the core, they do not really mean too much. They are born at the surface and meet their end at the surface, unless an event triggers them to shift otherwise to a deeper level. Surface level thoughts or feelings have no emotional attachment, whatsoever. They exist for the sole purpose of existing and not for any soulful reason. Nothing takes priority, nothing is heartfelt, and nothing really matters. Words overpower here to impress or win over others. Conditions rule.

What is Inner Level?

It is here where the soulful operations occur. This is where there is understanding and compromising and a strong bond of emotional attachment. This is where everything matters and is of importance. Small things have the power of disturbing the equilibrium here. This is where the true feelings reside.  There are no pacts or conditions at this level - everything is natural and free-flowing. Mind, heart and soul are the key elements which rule at the inner level. Feelings are true. Faith and trust reign supreme. Relationships are ever-lasting. Happiness spreads throughout. Emotions are eternal.

Flurries of Snow

 

Flurries of snow

 

Dancing in the breeze

 

Hither and thither

 

Dancing in the breeze

 

Swaying with randomness

 

Churning with chaos

 

Creating unknown patterns

 

Hither and thither

 

Dancing in the breeze

 

Conversing with each other

 

Jumping with joy

 

Rushing in competition

 

To meet the pristine white

 

Creating the ultimate glory

 

What a majestic sight!

 

Flurries of snow

 

Dancing in the breeze